LIFE

Life has so many twist and turns that sometimes its hard to find the path you were supposed to follow, at times you need to sit back and think about where you have been where you are now, and where you want to be. Sometimes it hard to believe that where you have been doesn’t always need to dictate where you are now or where you will go next. I wish that foresight was clearer than hindsight...I am going to work on looking forward more than I look back. History is important to be conscious of but its not what should direct us on our future path. I feel like sometimes we get lost in the why didn’t I’s and lose focus on the why not’s and when’s. What’s important is not where we have been but where we are going. I’m ready to find my path; I’m ready to travel my path in search for my future, I’m ready to close my eyes to the past and open my heart to the future. I’m ready to live my LIFE…look out world here I come…

My Joey

I miss the way the light would bounce off your eyes when something made you smile...
I miss the silly moments when we would laugh for no reason other than to share happiness...
I miss the moments when we would complete each others sentences, never notice until someone else pointed it out...
I miss the late night movie nights...
I miss the happy hours...
I miss you in every corner of my world...
I miss how you knew how to find me even when I couldn't find myself...
I miss your friendship, love, fun, heart, laughter, and your zest for life...
I miss how you held the pieces of me and always knew how to fit them back together...
I miss your hugs and most of all I miss just being a part of your world...
R.I.P Joseph Edward Gordon (I love you)...

Melting

My heart melts, the pain grows until it consumes my very being...
I am not sure who I am without you..
I am not sure who I am with you...
I lose myself with you, without you I can't find any reason to look for myself..
I am happy when I remember the last moment we were happy..
The thoughts consume me, they mold my day, night, week, month, year all into one...
I can't separate where our time began and where it ends...
I feel my heart melt into pieces and flow through my body...
I am in sorrow, in mourning for what could have been...
My heart melts, as the pain grows until it consumes my very being...

Connect

I wonder through the fog as I look to find you...
You evade my every reach...

As I get closer you fall away...

I realize I can only hope for...
I can not direct life...
As it is not meant to be lead...
Someday I will connect...
And when I do the pieces of me will fit back together...
I will reach life as it was meant to be...covered & completely lost in love

Still

The World spins, but I stand still.
I stand with my eyes shut begging the spining to stop.
I need to catch up.
I need to slow down.
But all I have strength for is still.
Very still.
So still that I am moving one heartbeat at a time.
I want to open my eyes.
Watch the world spin around me.
What a beautiful sight that must be.
But the fear, the pain the uncertainty of the flood.
The flood I will surely open apon myself with each raise of my eye lids one by one.
The fear stops the beating of my heart.
The moving of my mind.
The spining of my world.
Here I stand alone and perfectly still......

Rain

It hits me in the eyes
It makes me cold inside
Where there once was warmth now is gone
I close my eyes but I feel the power
I open my eyes I feel the sharpness of each drop
Why can't I step out into the sun?
Why can't I back away from the drops one by one?
Faster, Slower, Lower, Higher
Why can't I cry? Why can't I feel the warmth of yesterday fill my soul?
I want to wash away the pain each drop makes but all that happens are puddles
I wade thru Faster, Slower, Lower, Higher it hits me in the eyes.....