Most Importantly

Who says when life begins or ends, On the day you leave your mothers womb? When you take your last breathe?

Or is it when you finally step out on your own? Or when you finally step one last time in the wrong direction?

Who says I can't? Who makes sure you never will?

Take the chance that today is your first day, today is when life begins...& believe...KNOW that tomorrow may NEVER come...

Tell YOU whos says & who DOES!!!

Walk into your birthday and step away from NEVER will!!! and fall into the rest of YOUR life...

Most importantly LOVE!!!

My Spring

Love is like spring never knowing what tomorrow brings but full of hope & faith just the same...
Love is losing yourself in tomorrow just because today feels so great....
Love also has its cloudy days that bring tearful showers, but when done right "love" is a flower blooming into your soul & bursting life into your heart & mind...
Love is spring never knowing what tomorrow brings but full of hope & faith just the same...

Follow

I walk down a path I cannot see, I wander with the faith that seeing is not believing but believing is seeing...I believe if I follow, I will one day lead...So I follow you down this path I cannot see and focus on What will be, What is too be , What you see... as I allow you to lead me one giant leap at a time, You rush, You push, You fight to be first, I follow blind and full of faith never knowing which step will be the last I take with you, as I know that one day you will vear from the path and when you do I cannot follow, I cannot wallow, all I can do is smile and watch as you leap down your path, then I must turn and finally begin to lead myself down MY own path...one I have yet to find...until then I wonder down a path I cannot see with the faith that seeing is not believing but believing is seeing..with you....

Who will catch me

So I was sitting here trying to write...lately I have had some writers block & I was trying to figure out why so decided to just sit down & write what was on my mind to get my juices going...this is what I got...

So its 2011 & I'm not sure where I am going, I know where I have been...I think acknowledging where you have been helps you be able to see where you need to go...but right now I don't know what path I should take...I could easily go back where I came from, that place is safe, comfortable & familiar...but I'm not sure that's enough for me anymore...I want to be HAPPY, LOVED, IN LOVE, & for once really feel it..live it..lead with my heart instead of my head...But damn my head sure knows how to be heard no matter how hard I try to ignore it...I hear my head saying self "Don't be an idiot, Don't be stupid" which is playing dirty...because my head knows I can be called allot of things (and I have been) but there is nothing worse in my opinion than being known as stupid!!...My heart even feels the pain of this implication..I may or may not be allot of things but stupid IS NOT one I would ever want to be!!! I think that comes from the fear of becoming my mother...now before everyone gets mad at me...let me explain that statement...first I love & adore my mother, sure she drives me crazy at times but that's her job...and at times in my life I asked myself "who is the parent here" but I wouldn't trade her for any other mother in the world because she one of the best people I have ever known...and she has an amazing strength I can only wonder at... What I mean by my statement is that when it comes to relationship choices my mother couldn't be referred to as smart...& I never wanted to make those mistakes...the ones my Mom made... I always felt she made decisions with her eyes closed & heart & arms wide open...Never worrying about why or who would be there, but instead just take a blind leap into the unknown...Her method was JUMP, LEAP figure it out later...Well I watched her leap & jump and fall flat on her face so many times...and no matter how hard the fall she would always get back up...I used to pray that she would just open her eyes..close her arms & keep her feet firmly planted on the ground.... but as I look back I have some envy of my Mom's freedom, as I look I see that I also have learned how I can just close myself off from taking any leaps or jumps of my own, While my Mom's methods are still not for me...I just don't have it in me to take random leaps...but I do wish I could every now and again close my eyes without worrying about tomorrow & just leap...arms wide open & see if anyone is there to catch me....or if I would just fall flat like I suspect...maybe someday I will go for it...I hope if I do I am proven wrong....

LIFE

Life has so many twist and turns that sometimes its hard to find the path you were supposed to follow, at times you need to sit back and think about where you have been where you are now, and where you want to be. Sometimes it hard to believe that where you have been doesn’t always need to dictate where you are now or where you will go next. I wish that foresight was clearer than hindsight...I am going to work on looking forward more than I look back. History is important to be conscious of but its not what should direct us on our future path. I feel like sometimes we get lost in the why didn’t I’s and lose focus on the why not’s and when’s. What’s important is not where we have been but where we are going. I’m ready to find my path; I’m ready to travel my path in search for my future, I’m ready to close my eyes to the past and open my heart to the future. I’m ready to live my LIFE…look out world here I come…

My Joey

I miss the way the light would bounce off your eyes when something made you smile...
I miss the silly moments when we would laugh for no reason other than to share happiness...
I miss the moments when we would complete each others sentences, never notice until someone else pointed it out...
I miss the late night movie nights...
I miss the happy hours...
I miss you in every corner of my world...
I miss how you knew how to find me even when I couldn't find myself...
I miss your friendship, love, fun, heart, laughter, and your zest for life...
I miss how you held the pieces of me and always knew how to fit them back together...
I miss your hugs and most of all I miss just being a part of your world...
R.I.P Joseph Edward Gordon (I love you)...

Melting

My heart melts, the pain grows until it consumes my very being...
I am not sure who I am without you..
I am not sure who I am with you...
I lose myself with you, without you I can't find any reason to look for myself..
I am happy when I remember the last moment we were happy..
The thoughts consume me, they mold my day, night, week, month, year all into one...
I can't separate where our time began and where it ends...
I feel my heart melt into pieces and flow through my body...
I am in sorrow, in mourning for what could have been...
My heart melts, as the pain grows until it consumes my very being...